Destination El Salvador!

After all the fundraising and planning and packing, we are finally on our way! Heidi, Mahri and I are joining a team of 23 from South Dakota to travel to San Salvador for 11 days. We all met in Sioux Falls for orientation last night. We got to know each other a little...through some crazy icebreakers. We weighed our bags (all three of us girls were 15+ pounds under, thank you very much), and we heard a great message from Pastor Tom Rooney. He encouraged us from the book of Luke, where Jesus sent out the teams of two, to proclaim peace over the places we go, minister to their needs whenever we can, and to remember that when we are in the center of God's will, it is the safest place to be. I think he included that for the parents who were in attendance. :) The most important thing that we can do on this trip is to demonstrate LOVE of Jesus everywhere we go! I am so excited to build relationships with students and the people of El Salvador. But I'm most excited to see what God has planned for us to be a part of. He is already working in that country. We are getting the privilege to be a part of it for a short time. I know that He will transform the lives of the students and leaders who are going. I'm the only female leader on this trip and I LOVE THAT!!! These girls are so fun to be with and I can't wait to hear their hearts as God ministers to them. I'm thankful for the outstanding leadership of David Bauchspiess - our DYD. He has a passion for Jesus and a love for missions that is contagious to our students. We covet your prayers and will update you as I am able! Gloria a Dios!!

Benefits of maturity...?

Maturity is awesome. It's so much better than immaturity. You have learned to deal with the petty troubles of life with minimal drama. You can have deep, meaningful connections with people. And even when they let you down (and they will), it doesn't destroy you anymore! It's great!  In my walk with God, I'm more disciplined and consistent.  I don't have to ride the roller coaster anymore - where I'm desperately running to the altar of repentance every week...

But I definitely notice a downside to "maturity" (if that's what it really is). Lack of passion. When you're young and impetuous, you passionately pursue God. You come to His presence with a super high level of expectancy - you're waiting for God to send tongues of fire and the sound of a mighty wind... You just believe God will do CRAZY things!

So as we mature...why do we stop believing for the "wind and fire"?

I have never personally experienced a great "revival"; like the ones that have happened at Azusa Street or more recently, Brownsville. I have never seen hundreds of people slain in the Spirit, or someone in a wheelchair get up and walk, or people drawn to the church from the streets with no real reason why - they just felt compelled to go in.  I believe those things have happened.  I know there was a time when a school had to be shut down for ten days, because every time the students came, the power of God swept over them and they just cried and fell to their knees; all because Christians had prayed.  Over 2,000 students came to know Christ with no real preaching happening!  I know those things have happened.  I've heard amazing stories of miracles around the world.  But I've never experienced it personally. 

Neither have my children so far. So will their generation only hear the stories as well? Will they seek to experience it when they've never known it? ...I don't know.

In my prayer time lately, I have been asking God to allow me to be a part of a great move of His Spirit on this earth. I'm praying that it happens here - in the middle of nowhere, South Dakota. I'm willing to go overseas to be a part of that, but I really want to see it happen HERE.

The sad thing is - I spend time with lots of "mature" Christians and I don't hear this as a part of their heart's cry.  It wasn't a part of my own heart's desires until recently.  The one thing I know about revival from the Bible and church history is that the people hungered for it.  When I look at those who are mature (including myself), I don't see hunger for revival.  I see a lot of good and godly things - but I don't see a desperation for God to shake our whole community so that people are running for the church to hear more. 

Do we believe that God will still do that?  Or are we "mature" enough that we don't NEED a mighty move of God.  We have our salvation.  We have knowledge to teach our children the ways of the Lord.  We've taken the discipleship classes.  We're involved in ministering to our own church family.  We have Jesus for ourselves...

Maturity is awesome.  But maturity should not equal comfort and satisfaction.  Only seeking "consistency" in faith can innocuate us to the point of irrelevancy in our world.  Spiritual maturity is not a plateau where we set up camp...it should be a steeper incline that builds our muscle - our capacity to climb higher and desire MORE.

There's got to be more than what I've already experienced.  I want MORE!  But I don't wanna experience it alone.  Father, how do we become hungry when we live in a nation that appeases our every need?

Transitions

Well, I have failed at blogging the last several months.  There are so many reflective times during my week, but I forget to utilize this tool. 

It feels like a time of TRANSITION right now...in ministry life.  Like there's some kind of paradigm shift going on.  What I mean by that is that people are considering a change in the way they do some things.  The desired result is the same, but the method of getting there seems to be changing.  My good friend described it as a collective "holding our breath". 

It seems like we all feel there's something coming, but no one can identify what that might be, and we have no idea what we're supposed to do...so we wait.  I guess I'm okay with transition seasons.  But all I know is that when it comes to a point of movement, I MUST have forward momentum.  I can't resolve to back up or stay the same.  I'll die in that environment.  Not physically (that's a little dramatic)...but spiritually, creatively, personally, emotionally.  I have to keep moving forward.

Honestly, I don't know how people can stand to just stay the same.  I know most people hate change - but what about boredom with the mundane, same old thing?  Maybe it's my personality type.  But I think that God has called us to continually learn - seek more of Him - stretch our giftings - reach new people...  Forward momentum is necessary.  You definitely slow up at times and accelerate at other times, but always move forward. 

Are you in a holding pattern?  Repeating the same cycle over and over?  If so, either God is trying to teach you something that you're not grasping, or maybe you haven't been giving much effort to moving forward.  Something I'm thinking about...

Desperate Prayer

There have been several new students coming to youth ministry.  I've heard stories of cutting, years of addiction and abuse in families, suicide, loneliness, getting locked up...  Then this beautiful girl comes and tells me that now she knows there is a purpose for her life because she feels special when we smile at her (those of us at church). 

My heart is just broken...I am so humbled and so scared.  Father, it's such a tremendous responsibility to love these kids that come here looking for love and acceptance.  And there's such a fine line in maintaining a connection with them.  It doesn't take much for them to feel disappointed and unwanted.  They go through so much at home - they almost expect us to let them down.  Sometimes I feel so inadequate to the task...

Father, please grant me the grace to do what needs to be done.  Please fill me with supernatural anointing to be the things that I know I cannot be without You.  Please surround me with godly people who passionately love You and will walk alongside me.  Please help us (the Body of Christ) to selflessly love each other so that we're not distracted by our differences or offenses and hindered from accomplishing the Kingdom work that must be done to save lives.  Please give me the strength to stand when the burden is so heavy. 

I'm humbled by Your presence and Your request of the use of my life.  I want to walk boldly in what You've asked me to do.  Some days, boldness eludes me.  So I will walk humbly at those times.  And when the Holy Spirit grants me boldness, I will pour it all out for You. 

I just have this one life...and it's Yours.

New Year Refocus

The Christmas season is so fun and crazy...and a total departure from "regular life". The regular routine of life is pretty much out the window for most of us! You stay up late - talking, playing games, watching movies - with relatives, friends...then go to bed (usually in the guest room or on the pull-out couch)...then wake up, after sleeping in late, and eat an incredible amount of fattening food all day long. There are always plenty of emotions to tap into when you're with family you don't see very often. Someone's usually annoyed or frustrated because of someone else, the kids are usually loud and easily bored, and it's difficult to remember what day it is because things are so "not normal". Hopefully there are also wonderful family moments, warm hugs to share, and maybe even a few sentimental words exchanged.

And I look forward to the crazy wonderful chaos of it all every year! But now that's it's winding down, I am really looking forward to a week to refocus and "start fresh". I am looking forward to the week of prayer and fasting more than ever this year. I don't know if you've ever set aside time for fasting before, but here are a few reasons why I enjoy this time (even though it's very difficult at the same time).

• The end of the year usually seems to end with lots of disorganization (for the reasons I mentioned in the first paragraph). So after the new year begins, I am SO ready to get refocused. I don't really buy into the whole New Year Resolution thing, but I do believe that it's important to take time to evaluate where you are, where you'd like to go, and how you think you'll get there. I think that the perfect time to do that is while you're fasting! Your body is cleansing itself of impurity - what better time to allow your mind to be washed by the Holy Spirit? There's a certain spiritual clarity that comes when you commit yourself to a fast.
• Don't allow your fear of having wrong motives stop you from fasting. Something I hear from a lot of people about fasting is that they are afraid they're doing it for the wong reasons. Like "I like losing weight, I feel like I'm being more 'spiritual', I'm going to try to convince God to do something for me..." Those are all things we've all thought about. I've decided in the last couple of years that I'm not going to let those things stop me from developing a spiritual discipline that Jesus Himself practiced! Yes, I think I will struggle at times with having right motives while I'm fasting. I think that's part of the struggle between the spirit and the flesh. But instead of giving up, I'm going to talk to God about it (He already knows), and ask Him to help me grow in faith so that my motives come into line with His will. Developing a discipline is always a good idea! You may waffle a bit in why you're doing it, but it will be another weapon in your spiritual arsenal...and when you get stuck in a difficult place, you will be glad it's there.
• I don't want to just keep trudging along in life. I know that God has guided my life and will continue to do so. But I'm serious when I say I want to see Him do something HUGE here. I think there are a lot of amazing stories that He's waiting to write, but He's waiting on us to be ready. We get too caught up with just trying to make our life better that we miss some incredible opportunities to impact others for the Kingdom of God! Wouldn't it be awesome to see a great move of God in our community? Like to see people crammed into a church service because they just can't wait to see what God is going to do next? Maybe it won't look like I imagine it - but I know God desires to see an epic revival - even in little old South Dakota. :o) On whatever scale (large or small) it might be, I want to see God's Spirit move among us...and I want to do whatever my part of that might be. From what I see in the Word, Jesus said that His followers will fast when they're seeking His return. I'M READY!!!
• Good death practice. Paul says that we have to die daily as we walk this Christian life. Fasting is definitely dying to the fleshly appetites. By telling your body NO, you are setting aside the natural desires and appetites, and asking the Lord to fill you with supernatural nourishment. We ALL need more of this. If you really want to see your loved ones come to know Christ, if you really want to see your school or workplace filled with believers, if you really want to find God's purpose for your life...then this is a great time to put more of you to death. Less of me, more of Him.

I'd like to challenge you to go a step farther in your fasting this year. We are fasting together as a church - to seek God's direction for us. If you have no other reason to fast - that's your reason! We are only as effective as we are surrendered to the will of our Heavenly Father. Without His direction and the fuel of the Holy Spirit, we are just running in place here. Working hard - but not going anywhere.

Living in random

Too many people live life "in random".  I know that's not a phrase...but it's the best way I can describe what I see!  It reminds of "in tandom" - which is a phrase.  :o)  I guess I expect those who do not know the Heavenly Father (and subsequently do not know their purpose) to live in random.  But I see far too many seasoned Christians doing the same thing.  It really puzzles me!  They wake up each day and go through their regular routine, and don't even consider that God has something specific for that day. 

Each person has been given a specific gift or ability in this life - some haven't yet discovered it.  But for those who have, I'm surprised at how often they just use it to make a living, or amuse themselves, or even just as a hobby.  They forget that it was a supernatural implant, and that God gave it to them FOR A REASON! 

God does nothing in random.  I don't believe in luck or coincidence.  The Word says that "the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God".  Things don't just happen to a believer.  God takes each day's activities very seriously.  I'm ashamed to think of how many opportunities I've missed.  I don't want to live in random.  I read this amazing excerpt from Max Lucado that goes right along with this...

"Set apart for a special work.


God shaped you according to yours. How else can you explain yourself? Your ability to diagnose an engine problem by the noise it makes, to bake a cake without a recipe. You knew the Civil War better than your American history teacher. You know the name of every child in the orphanage. How do you explain such quirks of skill?

God. He knew young Israel would need a code, so he gave Moses a love for the law. He knew the doctrine of grace would need a fiery advocate, so he set Paul ablaze. And in your case, he knew what your generation would need and gave it. He designed you. And his design defines your destiny. Remember Peter's admonition? "If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies" (1 Pet. 4:11)." 
From Cure for the Common Life, Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2006) Max Lucado


If we can avoid the random way of thinking, we can discover our real purpose for being here!  We only have this one life! 

Father, I want to live ON PURPOSE.  I want to wake up asking "What if...?"  And on the days that I am weary, and not necessarily feeling ablaze, like Paul was, I want to simply be available and aware of where Your hand is moving.  I know that you placed these gifts within me for a reason - for this generation.  I want to be obedient to Your Master Plan!

I wanna be a mean Mom...

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart..

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all...

I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too..

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less..

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head..
Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

New Blog Adventure

I have enjoyed blogging since I started in January. To me, it's a journal that I don't mind other people reading...but I also don't mind if they don't read it. Blogging sometimes helps me to articulate in what areas of my life I'm experiencing growth! So I think it's good for me - and if someone else sees something of interest to them, EVEN BETTER!

I'm going to blog about life, worship, books I've read, parenting, marriage, and anything else that inspires me. Since I'm doubtful that I'll ever get around to writing that book I've talked about for 8 years, this is the next best thing for an outlet.  :o)