A Gut Honest Look at Love from Lysa TerKeurst

Thanks Theresa for sharing this via email...AWESOME!

"...if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."
1 Corinthians 13:2 (NIV)

Devotion:

As the holidays approach, I have to be careful about developing an overly ideal view of love. Sometimes I'm guilty of setting the expectations so high of what a 'love filled' Christmas should be that it dooms me to feeling disappointed and grumpy. Ever been there?

Well, this year I am feeling challenged to look at love a little differently. I don't want to repeat a habit that I've had from the past where I expect unrealistic things from those I love. I used to hold out the little cup of my heart to my husband, "Will you fill my empty spaces? Will you do that one really romantic thing that makes me feel like I'm the most terrific and special woman in the world?"

Then I would hold it out to my children, "Will you fill up my empty spaces? Will you do something that makes me look really good as a mom so I'll feel a little more validated?"

Then I would hold it out to my friends, "Will you fill up my empty spaces? Will you provide something today that makes me feel more included and significant?"

Maybe Christmas is an odd time to consider such things.

Or, maybe this season celebrating Jesus is the perfect time to hit the reset button on my sometimes frail heart. Love is a tricky thing. Our hearts were created to crave it. But misplaced expectations from love can wreak havoc in a person's heart.

God proclaims in 1 Corinthians 13:8 that love never fails. And in the quietness of my heart that verse makes me squirm a bit. I see love failing all the time. Or do I?

If my only view of love is what it will give me, love from others will fail me every time. It's not that love fails. It's that other people were never meant to be my God. Even a great husband, wonderful children and a thriving ministry can never truly fill me up, right all my wrongs, and soothe those deep insecurities. Not at Christmas. Not at any other time of the year.

No, I can't read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 with eyes hungry to see what love should give me and then demand it from those around me. I should read those steadfast Scriptures with the realization that this is the kind of love God gives to me. And this is the kind of love I can choose to give to other people.

I can choose that my love will be patient. My love will be kind. My love won't keep a record of wrongs. (Ouch - that's a hard one, right?)

I can choose that my love will protect and persevere.

And I can choose to lay the cup of my heart at Jesus' feet and stop twirling, twirling, twirling...hoping- demanding- that those around me do things for me they were never meant to do.

Interestingly enough, when I read 1 Corinthians 13 again this morning I found an odd yet perfect verse toward the end of this chapter. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me" (verse 11).

Yes indeed. How funny I never connected that verse about putting away childish things with 1 Corinthians 13 - known as the chapter of love. Oh how we have the propensity to grow in other areas while keeping such a childish, selfish view of love.

Love isn't what I have the opportunity to get from this world. Love is what I have the opportunity to give. And I guess there's no more appropriate time to remember this than Christmas.

Dear Lord, thank You for the ability to see love in the proper way. Help me to know how to be filled with Your love so I don't try to get others to fill my empty spaces. Lord, give me wisdom with each of my relationships. Make me a woman that properly lives the principals in 1 Corinthians 13. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Living in random

Too many people live life "in random".  I know that's not a phrase...but it's the best way I can describe what I see!  It reminds of "in tandom" - which is a phrase.  :o)  I guess I expect those who do not know the Heavenly Father (and subsequently do not know their purpose) to live in random.  But I see far too many seasoned Christians doing the same thing.  It really puzzles me!  They wake up each day and go through their regular routine, and don't even consider that God has something specific for that day. 

Each person has been given a specific gift or ability in this life - some haven't yet discovered it.  But for those who have, I'm surprised at how often they just use it to make a living, or amuse themselves, or even just as a hobby.  They forget that it was a supernatural implant, and that God gave it to them FOR A REASON! 

God does nothing in random.  I don't believe in luck or coincidence.  The Word says that "the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God".  Things don't just happen to a believer.  God takes each day's activities very seriously.  I'm ashamed to think of how many opportunities I've missed.  I don't want to live in random.  I read this amazing excerpt from Max Lucado that goes right along with this...

"Set apart for a special work.


God shaped you according to yours. How else can you explain yourself? Your ability to diagnose an engine problem by the noise it makes, to bake a cake without a recipe. You knew the Civil War better than your American history teacher. You know the name of every child in the orphanage. How do you explain such quirks of skill?

God. He knew young Israel would need a code, so he gave Moses a love for the law. He knew the doctrine of grace would need a fiery advocate, so he set Paul ablaze. And in your case, he knew what your generation would need and gave it. He designed you. And his design defines your destiny. Remember Peter's admonition? "If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies" (1 Pet. 4:11)." 
From Cure for the Common Life, Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2006) Max Lucado


If we can avoid the random way of thinking, we can discover our real purpose for being here!  We only have this one life! 

Father, I want to live ON PURPOSE.  I want to wake up asking "What if...?"  And on the days that I am weary, and not necessarily feeling ablaze, like Paul was, I want to simply be available and aware of where Your hand is moving.  I know that you placed these gifts within me for a reason - for this generation.  I want to be obedient to Your Master Plan!

Robust Reading

This last year, I have read at least one book a month.  I think I've read a total of 14 (working on 15 and 16 right now).  I know - that's a lot!!  That's going from my regular reading of Dr. Seuss, Sammy and the Robots, and The Rooster Who Can't Cockle-doodle-doo.  It's quite a change!

It's funny, because I'm noticing that I'll look at people a little differently, based on what I'm reading.  It's like each book tweaks my "filter" a little.  I think that's a good thing to some degree...because I'm a big believer in continuing education.  That doesn't necessarily just refer to attending a college or some other formal education.  To me, that can simply mean being intentional about growing in some area of your life by going to a seminar, reading books, or even just talking with others who have experience. 

Don't misunderstand the filter...it's not like I'm analyzing everyone I know.  (My friends are relieved.)  :o)  It's just something that kind of naturally happens - and we all do it!  Sometimes when you're spending time with someone, you observe quirky things about them.  It's kind of fun actually - people watching.  So now that I'm reading all these books - primarily related to leadership - I've learned several interesting relational tools, taken many different tests about personality/weaknesses, and I've identified about 9 new traits in every leader I know personally. 

I have definitely decided that 14 is way too many books...at least all of the same intense nature.  I need to mix it up a little with some fiction.  I am still getting a steady diet of Dr. Seuss and other great philosophy books like it, but I just can't process all that information!  There are some really key concepts that have stuck and that I've found myself using in "everyday" life. 

I'll have to go back and review some of those other great books at another time.  I can only digest so much.  So if I bring up some annoying tendency or random personality test, you'll know why.  If you're game, tolerate me for a few minutes and you'll probably hear some of the amazing things I've been learning.  If you'd rather not undergo the amateur analysis, just let me know you've read my blog and aren't in the mood.  I'll know exactly what you mean!  :o)

Loving Well

Last Saturday, I attended a one-day women's retreat at my church.  It was a Beth Moore series called "Loving Well".  Honestly, I wondered what she would have to say that I haven't heard about love.  I have heard dozens of sermons and teachings about love.  I've read soooo many books about love - related to marriage, parenting, ministry...  And there were definitely a few familiar themes in her teaching.  But I must say that there were some AWESOME new insights that I had never heard before - at least not put in such a memorable way.  Here are some of the things that have stuck with me, a week later...

1. We must accept that there are different kinds of people that the Word of God has instructed us to love: "Joy" - these are those wonderful people that make it so easy to love them; "Testy" - kind of speaks for itself, but those people that seem determined to make you angry; "Foe" - enemies, the people you hate or have not forgiven; "Far" - the people around the world that are strangers to you, but need Christ.
2. LOVING IS NOT OPTIONAL FOR THE BELIEVER! This is something that I've really been focusing on in youth ministry lately.  When you're at an immature state in life (whether that's adolescence or spiritual immaturity), you just get the idea that when someone offends or annoys you, you have the right to just kick them out of your life.  For a Christian - that is NEVER your right.  There is no offense on the planet that Jesus' blood has not covered.  And if His blood has covered it, we have no right to hang onto that offense.  Love is the first fruit of the Spirit that is listed...it is definitely the first evidence that nonbelievers look for in us - "is she for real? how does she treat others/"  If the world will know us "by our love", then we better take the command to love very seriously...and I'm not sure that we always do.
3. Love with INSIGHT!  This was a wonderful explanation for me!  There are people in our lives that genuinely can cause harm to us, either physically, emotionally, or sometimes sexually.  While we are commanded to forgive and release them...we do NOT have to put ourselves repeatedly in harm's way.  To love with insight means to be smart with your heart choices!  Ask yourself, "why do I attract people who are hurtful?"..."why am I attracted to them?" 

After 5-6 interruptions from my pre-schoolers, I've forgotten some other things that I was going to write.  :o)  So I'll wrap it up for now.  After I glance at my notes, I may share some other things - but if you have an opportunity to see this Beth Moore series, you will LOVE it.  ;o) 

I wanna be a mean Mom...

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart..

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all...

I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too..

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less..

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head..
Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

New Blog Adventure

I have enjoyed blogging since I started in January. To me, it's a journal that I don't mind other people reading...but I also don't mind if they don't read it. Blogging sometimes helps me to articulate in what areas of my life I'm experiencing growth! So I think it's good for me - and if someone else sees something of interest to them, EVEN BETTER!

I'm going to blog about life, worship, books I've read, parenting, marriage, and anything else that inspires me. Since I'm doubtful that I'll ever get around to writing that book I've talked about for 8 years, this is the next best thing for an outlet.  :o)