Annette's March RI Review

Chapter 3 & 4 of Relational Intelligence

I am really liking the practical application of this book! It's one thing to tell us that we need to increase our RI, but it's another entirely to SHOW us ways we can do it.  It's awesome.  When it comes to being a Story Collector - I think I do that to a degree.  But I don't think that I've been very good at pulling the interesting things out of people.  After we get closer, I do...but I want to be at the RI Genius level!!  :o)  So I have already starting "practicing" on teens when I'm talking to them.  And it's amazing how well it works!  I can see in their faces that they feel valued already!  It's really amazing. 

I do enjoy asking questions.  Our life group has given me great opportunity to practice this (as some of you know).  I'm going to really focus on that in the next month or so - with life group and students.  I really see the wisdom in how you can learn a lot about a person by asking questions about people's dreams and life history.  I know I've felt valued when people do that to me.  In some ways, I think "DUH" when I'm reading this stuff.  Yet I don't know very many people that do all these things well!

Allison told me she thought I was an energy carrier.  :o)  When I started to read that chapter, that made me feel great.  I can see what she means I guess, because I've been in a leadership role for so many years.  I do like to have an energized meeting.  When I've gone to a meeting that's led by someone who has no energy at all - it is difficult for me to keep my place.  HAHA  I just wanna jump up and help.

Where I felt punched between the eyes is when he talked about energy killers - specifically the appearance of alertness.  There are most definitely people that I do this with!!  It's actually most middle school students I know.  I am listening to all the minutia of their story...but I'm desperately waiting for something significant to pop up so I can have a real conversation with them!!  They probably sense that!  I can't let my mind wander, no matter how valuable I think the content is or not. 

I have lots of personal experience with fighting distraction.  Before services, people come at me from 50 directions with questions, assistance requests, changes for service, cancellations, technology problems...  I have become pretty proficient at taking the moments I need to shut all that off and clear my mind.  But there are definitely days where it seems to be more of a struggle.  I've been in the middle of a worship song thinking about Easter costumes!!

I LOVE the wisdom of "being all there".  Isn't that soooo what many of us need?  We have too much going on so we're not great at anything!!!  Now we're reading this - so what are you going to do to change it??  I've been evaluating this very thing in my life over the last 6 months.  This book is right on for me.